Emilie
Life’s but a game of pinball. We are the ball. Once ejected into the world, we bounce from pillar to
post, sometimes cushioned, sometimes not. The sure thing is that sooner or later, we end up in
the hole
Jodie Karmmer
“2 women at sea + a reckless lover + loyalty + lust + sensual language + deceit + coming full circle
and having to say goodbye = Silent Goodbyes”
Carla, London
“Layered sensuality blended with gritty realism vividly describes the complex, emotional and
psychological landscape that lurks just below the surface. If you keep writing, CC, I’ll keep
reading.”
Joanna Mailer
Many winning ingredients make this plot a most enjoyable one. I read it on a long night-train ride
across borders. The rain was beating down against the windows.
The man across from me was snoring. The air in the compartment was stale and stuffy. Didn’t
bother me much. I wasn’t there.
I was onboard Lazy Moon with Emilie and Solange. I was the ‘fly on the wall’ as Emilie and Roberta
were trying to convince each other and themselves that they hadn’t yet reached the Point of No
Return – That they still could pull away and say goodbye
Jen Craven
I didn’t know it either, in my private life, that my X and I had just made love for the last time. Neither
had she. We had just finished reading silent goodbyes. Strange how life moves us w/o us knowing
Snipped by
Louis Jennings
Her hair was soft, her shoulder supple and smooth under my hands. The small of her back was
taut. Her freshly brushed teeth still retained the faint taste of her mint flavoured toothpaste. I
caressed the smooth curve of her buttocks. I held on to her. Her hips moved gently against mine.
But then, rather awkwardly, she unexpectedly extricated herself.
Kris from
Austin
“Roberta? Ah … yes. What can I say? We’ve all had a Roberta in our lives, haven’t we?”
Sandra P, Briz
“Solange reminds me of an ex of mine. Great lover. Gorgeous woman. Just couldn’t keep up with
her.”
Curve
Magazine
“Saint-Clair’s social realist leanings have earned her work the reputation of “the thinking woman’s
lesbian romance novelist.”
senji
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
senji
Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 15
Location: Manchester
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:27 am Post subject: Kali:C.C’s book signing
The only book I don’t have is North and Left [TakeII] though I have C.C’s first version of North. I’ll be
@ Mc Gills nice & early to get Take II. First row. I bet that if anyone comes to argue me out of the
best seat, it’ll probably be you Tell you right now though, you won’t stand a chance
Senji
houseofmuses
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Joined: 17 Feb 2005
Posts: 28
Location: Vine Grove, KY
Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 8:09 am Post subject: Common description of CC’s website
More and more I’m reading this common phrase in this forum: “…if you manage to get past the
amazing torso on her homepage. Extremely sensual, barely wrapped in sheer shades of electric
lavender and pink…”
C.C. has more than managed her goal, then, if we can’t even get past her website. I wonder how
many licks it takes to get to the center of https://www.ccsaint-clair.com/ …………..
For those of you who are too young to remember, that’s a take-off on the old 60’s commercial,
“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll Tootsie Pop? Let’s find out….”
We are SO gay…. Just wanted to share that observation with you girls.
kali
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Joined: 10 Mar 2005
Posts: 3
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject: Silent Goodbyes
What’s this Tootsie-Roll Tootsie Pop?? an iceblock? icecream? I’m certainly old enough to
remember the 60s, but I guess it is/was an American thing?
Just to make you drool (maybe even more than you do over the pink banner ‘torso’ on CC’s site), I
have an author-signed copy of Silent Goodbyes – so for those of you who live in Briz, if you want
all your copies of C C Saint-Clair’s novels signed by the author herself, get along to C C Saint-
Clair’s ‘meet the author’ at McGills bookshop in Brisbane on Saturday 9 April (2005) at 2pm.
_________________
Kali
Originally Indian goddess of creation and destruction, now living in Australia
NotAshamed
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 11
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 7:03 am Post subject:
LOL HouseofMuses
I like the reference to the tootsie pop! As for her website. Yes…i too have been stuck there
watching and pondering the screen for a second or two….ok maybe a minute or two. ha ha She is
very effective with her website and writing. Dang that woman is talented!
-NotAshamed-
_________________
Newsflash- I’m a lesbian. Yeah bet you didn’t know!
Rhonda
In reply to stargayzer.
Joined: 24 Mar 2005
Posts: 9
Location: Reno/Lake Tahoe area – Nevada (United States)
Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:01 pm Post subject: Re: cc’s silent goodbyes
stargayzer wrote:
I thought Solange was quite a pain in the …. but I had a gf who was just as erratic as her – so I
totally understood what Emilie was going through. But then again, I just loved the way Em fell in
love with Roberta and their tender connection. So real to life, I couldn’t help sighing because … i’ve
been there myself. Who hasn’t?
That’s the strength of CC’s writing, I think, that ability to write ficition that’s so real and … involving
of the senses. So … yeah Admin, I agree with you,Silent goodbyes is a great book
S’gayzer
Lol! Yeah, Solange was a major pain! Definitely a “high maintenance” kind of woman. It was really
interesting to watch the “mental” progression of the relationship. I really enjoyed “being there”
when Emilie was falling in love with Roberta. It can be a scary thing to fall in love – but so addicting
at the same time. Call me a romance junkie, I guess
_________________
Rhonda
Webmaster
All Things Lesbian – Directory For The Global Lesbian Community
freefall
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Joined: 21 Mar 2005
Posts: 3
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 3:18 am Post subject: back at you, Admin
Admin, hi
I’ve been watching this forum for a couple of weeks already and it looks like all of C.C. Saint-clair’s
ATL readers have said their peace. All except me.
Going by dates, it looks like you posted the 1st comment on Saint-clair. What a good idea, as this
section of the forum is by far one of the most solid in terms of maturity and relevance of posts.
My favourite moment in Silent Goodbyes is one of the boat scenes. The moon is low on its axis,
the night is dark. No other boats are anchored nearby and Emilie imagines how she would make
love to Solange if she walked up to her, where she is, lost in her own thought at the bow. But I’ve
been toying with a bit of a review that I thought I might just post somewhere, but that was last
year – and I still haven’t posted it anywhere and admittedly, I borrowed a couple of lines from other
stuff that people have already written about her, but most of it is mine.
Far From Maddy is C.C. Saint-Clair’s sixth novel and, in this novel as in all others, the sensuality of
her writing captures both the sensual romanticism and the socio-political realism that underpin
all her storylines – It’s all about the choices we make, as women of all ages, the risks we take, the
emotional baggage we drag around, and whatever (un)resolved personal issues we have – in
Saint-Clair’s plots, it all bubbles up to the surface.
On the eve of twenty-two-year-old Jo’s intended move in with her lover, Maddy, in urban, working-
class Australia, Jo simply vanishes. So begins the strange tale of her self-determined
disappearance and Maddy’s desperate search to find her.
In her hand, Maddy still held the bracelet found there amongst Jo’s belongings. She straightened
her shoulders to allow more air to fill her lungs. The leather knot that she had tied on the
underside of Jo’s wrist that night, some three months earlier, was still intact, tight and secure, but
one of its ends was severed from the braid. Maddy brought the band to her lips.
The sweaty saltiness of it against her nose, the tiny patch of salty leather under the tip of her
tongue hit her like a door in the middle of a sleepwalker’s path. Jo’s face, bigger than life, exploded
behind her eyes.
Jo, with her grunge hair cut that spilled, shiny and black over her pale forehead, over her grey
eyes. Jo’s aquiline nose. Jo’s smile that creased the corners of her mouth instead of turning them
upwards. Every detail was there, too large, too alive, far too unreal for Maddy to accommodate
inside her heart.
Dazed but with the automated motions of the undead, Maddy had eventually driven back towards
Brisbane.
[In case it’s legally needed here] Copyright © by C.C.Saint-Clair 2003
The focus of Far From Maddy is the impact on a young girl’s psyche of emotional abuse at the
hand of a loving but unhinged mother who resorts to self-administered euthanasia. And that’s
combined with the current urban issue of young people who prefer to live rough in the streets
rather than struggle inside dysfunctional families and pretend and compromise just for the sake
of a bed and 4 walls around them when they’re asleep.
Young people, some enough to still be kids, others barely out of their teens, like Jo, choose
homelessness as a life option and Saint-Clair is alerting us to the reality that their choice isn’t
really a choice at all. Their decision to live in the streets, parks and bus shelters stems from a
quiet desperation. Too many of our disenfranchised youth have run out of choices.
And in Far From Maddy, it’s a young dyke’s life that’s at risk.
Saint-Clair’s unique writing style – layered sensuality blended with gritty realism, vividly describes
the complex, emotional and psychological landscape that lurks just below the surface, and yet,
Saint-Clair’s novels still fall in the category of sensual lesbian romance novels.
The only “problem” with Far From Maddy, if you’re a fan of Saint-Clair’s makes-you-wet-on impact
sexy scenes, is that there aren’t as many of her trademark moments of hot electric lust, as in all
her other novels. One reason, I guess, is that Jo, Maddy’s lover, is AWOL for most of the novel.
So this explains that though Christen would’ve certainly welcome more, much more of Maddy’s
time and touch.
If other forum users are not familiar with Saint-clair’s site but they like a lot of quality free extracts
– sexy, sensual, erotic and relevant to our queer culture – there’s a lot to browse. She even has a
4playWords sections.
I think she’s got one per book on https://www.ccsaint-clair.com.
That’s if you manage to get past the amazing torso on her homepage. Extremely sensual, barely
wrapped in sheer shades of electric lavender and pink
Nice sharing with you Admin and cheers to you all,
FreeFall
_________________
Life’s but a game of pinball. We are the ball. Once ejected into the world, we bounce from pillar to
post, sometimes cushioned, sometimes not. The sure thing is that sooner or later, we end up in
the hole. c.c. saint-clair
Trinity
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Trinity
Site Admin
Joined: 19 Jan 2005
Posts: 129
Location: Ohio
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 6:34 am Post subject: the tootsieroll pop
Freefall,
The tootsieroll pop was very popular in the US (i am not sure of any other countries) There used
to be a commercial on tv with an owl saying “how many licks does it take to get to the center of
the tootsieroll pop?” Then he would lick it and count 1…2…3 and then you would hear a big crunch
from him biting down on the lolly pop because he couldn’t wait to get to the center. It is one of my
favorite commercials from when i was young. It was on a lot in the 80’s
Trinity
stargayzer
In reply to Editorial by Admin, All Things Lesbian.
Joined: 21 Feb 2005
Posts: 6
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:01 am Post subject: cc’s silent goodbyes
I totally agree with your post Admin. I read Silent Goodbyes while doing the daily commutes to
work and back [45 mins each way by train]. Just didn’t see time go by. i was on that sailboat. I was
stargayzing onboard Emilie’s yacht – Stargayzer
I thought Solange was quite a pain in the …. but I had a gf who was just as erratic as her – so I
totally understood what Emilie was going through. But then again, I just loved the way Em fell in
love with Roberta and their tender connection. So real to life, I couldn’t help sighing because … i’ve
been there myself. Who hasn’t?That’s the strength of CC’s writing, I think, that ability to write
ficition that’s so real and … involving of the senses. So … yeah Admin, I agree with you,Silent
goodbyes is a great book
S’gayzer
_________________
Star gazing: great for the soul. Work hard – play hard – love hard: all great for the body.
Editorial by
Admin, All
Things Lesbian
Now that things are getting back to normal around here, I wanted to re-post a review of Silent
Goodbyes by C.C. Saint-Clair that was on the original forum. Like Trinity was able to strongly
identify with Morgan, I was able to strongly identify with Emilie, the main character in this novel. I
enjoyed the book so much that I’m now in the process of reading “Risking-Me” which is a sequel
to Silent Goodbyes. Here’s the review:
Lesbian fiction is a genre that I so rarely have the luxury of time to read these days, but I was
pleasantly touched by C.C. Saint-Clair’s Silent Goodbyes. I found myself quickly turning the pages
of this book partly set onboard a yacht sailing the Whitsunday Islands, somewhere off Australia,
and was unable to put this romantic novel down. Saint-Clair gives us a realistic and honest
portrayal of what it feels like to be in a lesbian relationship that is gradually unraveling. We
experience the feelings and thoughts of Emilie first-hand as she begins to fall out of love with her
lover, an experience that many of us have unfortunately had.
The story primarily takes place in the mind of Emilie, a 46 year-old introverted, anxiety-ridden
English teacher. As an introverted-borderline-anti-social person myself, I could really relate to the
character of Emilie and appreciate the little nuances that go on in her mind.
This is a very “mental” novel that exposes many of the little intricacies that subconsciously go on
in a woman’s mind as she interacts with and observes others. It was startling to see such
common, unconscious thoughts so skillfully put on paper as Saint-Clair does in this lesbian book.
In this romantic lesbian story, readers are observers of the steady process that takes place in the
gradual break-down of a long-term relationship. We experience Emilie’s emotional
disappointments with her partner over time as the feel-good moments between the couple begin
to dwindle. Emilie makes love to Solange, feeling that it is for the last time, a goodbye, on the bow
of Star Gazer, a thirty-five-footer. In this highly erotic scene, the reader is given a treat of the
senses as Emilie fantasizes about making love with Solange under the moonlight.
It is easy for the reader to feel as if she were actually taking part in the slow, delicious foreplay
that takes place on the gently rocking yacht at sea. When Emilie does actually prepare to
approach her lover, there is no doubt as to what will soon take place between the two women.
This highly sensual scene is just one of many in this wonderfully romantic novel.
The reader travels along with Emilie’s thoughts and emotions as she ventures towards a new
sensual, erotic beginning with a colleague. We have the delight of experiencing first-hand the
delicious passion, romance, sexual desire and longing that are so common in a passionate, new
romantic lesbian relationship. We are also “there” with Emilie up close and personal as she learns
to deal with her insecurities and self-consciousness that are so common in a budding new
romantic lesbian relationship.
C.C. Saint-Clair has a wonderful gift of capturing introspective thoughts and sensual, erotic
moments in lesbian literature. The reader is able to intimately feel both the pleasure and the
emotional pain that are common in many relationships.
I have been delighted to be introduced to the work of this lesbian author in Silent Goodbyes and
am enthusiastically looking forward to reading Risking-Me, which is kind of a sequel.
This novel has become one of my favorite lesbian books and my copy will live on my bookshelf
where it will be available for a re-read at any time when I’m in the mood for a great romantic story.
C.C. Saint-Clair has so kindly made a free downloadable version of Silent Goodbyes available on
her website. Personally, I prefer to read the paperback book format that can easily be carried
along anywhere.
– Rhonda
Madeleine G,
Sorrento
“C.C.’s first person, reflective narrative style intimately links the reader to Emilie and her mind-
meanders.”
